on love

I think my biggest ambition in life is just this: to be with the one I love (and who loves me). That's the most important thing I want. I've always thought I could deal with not getting the job I want, or not living in the place I want, just as long as I could have that powerful & lasting relationship and to know it wouldn't go away.

That seems almost unacceptable today. It seems like women aren't supposed to have romantic dreams and to place so much importance on being in love. A woman is supposed to put her career and ambitions like that first, or she's antifeminist, a relic of the past when women couldn't do anything without their husbands.

Either that or it's viewed as a symptom: I want love because I'm insecure, because I don't value myself enough, because I don't think I'm strong enough to make it in the world on my own.

But, no, those things aren't true. What's true is that I just love being in love. It brings the absolute best feelings and experiences of my life, better than anything else could possibly be. There is nothing like that magic.

And that's why my biggest fear is ending up single, that's why I hold on so tightly, why I get suspicious and paranoid over the littlest things, why I want absolutely everything, total commitment from the beginning. Because I feel so strongly.